How to turn negative assumptions into generosity to strengthen your business

Relationships are everything in business (and everyday life, for that matter). Whether they’re with employees, clients, suppliers or people of influence, the stronger your ability to foster great relationships, the more likely you are to build a great business, writes Kelly Exeter.

What’s something that tends to get in the way of great relationships? Assumptions.

We have less time for critical thinking when we’re under pressure (and in business life, we’re almost always under pressure), so we tend to lean heavily on assumptions:

Something that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof.

Sometimes, these assumptions can be useful shortcuts that lead to a quick resolution of a problem. More often, though, they involve believing the worst of a person or situation:

• The supplier who hasn’t gotten back to us doesn’t value our business.
• The staff member who’s late for the second time this week is disrespectful.
• The client asking hard questions is looking for an excuse to terminate our contract.

Negative assumptions like the above tend to be born out of narratives based on what’s gone on before – either with these particular individuals or with other suppliers, staff or clients – rather than what is.

The power of generous assumptions in business

While I like to think I’m good at believing the best of people, I must admit that the longer I’ve known someone, the more likely I am to make negative assumptions when faced with certain aspects of behaviour.

A podcast I was listening to brought up the concept of generous assumptions, and challenged listeners to catch themselves before reacting to a situation, and ask themselves: What is the most generous assumption I can make here?

Intrigued, I decided to commit to a month-long experiment.

Three findings – one surprising

1. Better mood

It was interesting (but not surprising) to note that jumping to the most generous conclusion in every challenging situation (even if that conclusion was ultimately untrue) meant I was less irritated by others. The positive effect this had on my mood was significant.

2. Faster problem-solving

Since all interactions with others were starting from a more positive baseline, several situations that would have typically chewed up a lot of time and energy resolved themselves more quickly than I thought possible.

3. Personal growth

Finally, the surprising finding: making the most generous assumptions I could about others improved my relationship with myself. I never noticed how many of the narratives I’d built about other people’s behaviour led me to conclude that they hated me, didn’t respect me, or didn’t value me.

This made me realise that perhaps the person we need to make the most generous assumptions about in business life is … ourselves. When we improve our relationship with ourselves, good relationships with others tend to follow.

This article was first published on Flying Solo, read the original here.

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