Being a struggling single mum was driving force behind founding my company

Award-winning author and leadership advisor Sonia McDonald shares how her determination to be a role model and provide for her daughter has led to an international career; and what this year’s IWD theme, Count Her In, means to her.

I was one of the girls at school who had a picture journal with cutouts of my dream life of getting married and having children in that house with the white picket fence.

Yeah, right…maybe it was all the Disney storybooks.

It was raining, and I was standing in the middle of the Australian Consulate in Shanghai, waiting for one little stamp. It was my ticket out of the country. I have never been so scared before.

After the woman behind the glass counter stamped my legal document to take my daughter out of the country, my voice burst with courage, and I said to my husband, “I am going to work so hard that I won’t need a cent from you.”

He had abandoned us and left me with very little money. It wasn’t part of my storybook. I needed to write a new story—one of courage and determination.

I came back home to Australia, and no one wanted to hire a full-time struggling single mum. After all those years of hard work and long hours, as soon as the single mum card came up, I was just too hard to hire.

Talk about not counting her in.

All I could remember was what I promised myself and my daughter. I needed to be a role model for her.

Little did I know that my courage muscle was building after all the rejections, even though my confidence was utterly shattered.

I needed to provide for us and put a roof over our heads. It was beyond challenging and heartbreaking.

It was one opportunity that changed my life. I went for a job as a leadership coach and consultant. I called into every courage cell and got the gig.

That gig turned into a love of leadership and impact. It turned into a blog. A few years later, I turned the blog into a company.

That was 17 years ago.

I remember thinking about who I wanted to be, what I wanted to stand for, and what Legacy I wanted to leave.

Today, I look back over the years and love the story I wrote. I wanted to be a courageous mum and woman and stand for outstanding courage and leadership.

I wanted to show my daughter (and all women) you can do it. Would I do things differently – definitely. The guilt, sleepless nights, tears and the ups and downs of running a business and being a mum. It’s beyond brutal.

Leadership is about grit, courage and overcoming adversity. It’s about being a role model, serving others, and lifting them for greatness.

I wouldn’t change anything about being a single mum and using this as my driving force to create and build a company where we have worked with thousands of leaders and people worldwide and our impact.

I wish I didn’t wait until I was a single mum; I wish I had the courage much sooner to count myself in – and to earn, learn and lead.

By counting myself in and other women in and up, we can change the world and accelerate progress.

It is never too late. Count yourself in and remember that what is necessary is our Legacy.

Today my daughter is now leading the way. She is my legacy.

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