Why you should focus on the hits not the misses

I recently engaged in a conversation with a client, who following my simply curious question of “how’s things?” with a litany of what I could only describe as ‘stories from his bad news filing cabinet’, writes Mark LeBusque.

These included (in no specific order), “communications are not clear enough”, “our relationships don’t allow for honest conversations”, “I’ve had to cover for a lot of sick days” and “we’re 2 per cent off a new range of mini-targets and I’m getting very frustrated with how we’re all working together”.

But…here’s the kicker.

Five minutes into the conversation, and I hear this:

“We’re one million dollars ahead of our state target.”

What startled me more than a little was this statement was said without any fanfare and was slipped into what I could only describe as a reasonable depressing exchange from a simple question. As if it wasn’t important because there was no drama in being ahead of target.

“Back the bus up for a minute,” I came back with.

“Did you just say you are one million dollars ahead of target?”

This is another example of what humans are afflicted with, and I call it focusing on the red, not the green.

Why do we do this?

Shifting to a positive mindset

In his book, Hardwiring Happiness, Rick Hanson captures it perfectly when he says, “In effect, the negativity bias is tilted towards immediate survival, but against quality of life”.

We’re still working from the same grey matter that our ancestors did on the savannahs when they were being chased by sabre-tooth tigers. The only difference is these days, the ‘sabre-tooth tigers’ and life-threatening predators are represented by KPI’s, profit and loss reports, employee engagement surveys and performance reviews.

I’ve seen many examples of how this plays out in the workplace, and how much time is taken by humans going into survival mode. It’s not to say at times there isn’t danger (the pandemic anyone), however when we focus simply on drama and the ‘red,’ it has a negative impact upon not only you, but all those who report to you, largely impacting motivation and engagement.

Here are my five tips to stop being caught in immediate survival mode as if you are getting chased by the organisational sabre-tooth tigers and start focussing on what is allowing you not to just survive but thrive:

Ditch the drama: 5 tips to thrive not survive

Get Out Of The Bad News Filing Cabinet In Your Head

Humans have between 12,500 and 60,000 new and recurring thoughts per day, and according to the National Science Foundation, 80 per cent of those thoughts are negative. So, we’re over accessing the eight-drawer filing cabinet every day. Before you go there, catch yourself and ask ‘why’ or ‘why not’. Even though its only two drawers, have a look in the good news filing cabinet as well.

Get Some Perspective (Did Anyone Die?)

Unless you’re in the operating theatre, on the battlefield or in a high risk to life industry, the answer will be no. Much of what we do in the workplace is not life and death but we frame it as a drama by overthinking. Step back before you get all wound up and ask yourself that question. More importantly when others are freaking out ask them the question, “Did anyone die?”

Don’t Participate In The Drama

There will be plenty of humans who thrive on the drama of the bad news. Have you watched the nightly news lately? It’s all drama, doom and gloom until they give us a feelgood story of a squirrel on a set of water skis after the weather segment. Don’t get sucked into the drama and even short circuit it by starting a conversation about what’s working well.

Focus on Strengths

According to Gallup, if we focus on strengths in performance-related conversations there can be an up to 24% increase in productivity. It sort of makes sense doesn’t it. Acknowledge the good ‘green’ in others and they will do more of it as we humans like to be praised. Stop the craziness of capturing things not being done well, sharing these and then saying, ‘keep up the good work’. It’s confusing and demotivating.

Set Up A Weekly ‘What Am I Proud Of’ Check In

At the end of each week, it’s a great time to write further copy for your good news filing cabinet. Five minutes of reflection and one story each week will give you 52 more sheets of paper for the positive filing cabinet. It will also give you a confidence and self-esteem kicker. Stop trying to make an excuse that you don’t have time because you’re fleeing another sabre-tooth tiger.

 Before you head into the bad news filing cabinet, entertain the drama of the office negative Neil or Nancy, or run frantically screaming as a sabre-tooth tiger nips at your heels, why not ask yourself the following:

Am I looking to thrive or simply survive?

What’s your answer?

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