Why we need to ditch the superwoman syndrome and embrace help

When you think of Superwoman, you may imagine a strong, resilient, ready-for-anything and courageous badass with a flawless complexion, taut buns, a bouncy ponytail and a well-pressed cape. She effortlessly saves the day with a smile and would only rarely snap at Superman for leaving his red undies next to the laundry hamper.

While you probably don’t even own a cape, deep down you may feel that these traits are the ones you must bring to your roles in your career, your relationships, parenting and self-care to be seen as, or indeed feel within yourself, a successful woman.

You are far more than the sum of what you do

In 1984, Marjorie Hansen Shaevitz coined the term “Superwoman Syndrome” which she introduced to the world in her book of the same name. The term is used to describe women who try to do it all. These are women who balance multiple roles in their personal and professional lives, or perhaps one all-consuming role, often pushing themselves to meet sky-high, and usually self-imposed, expectations. They tend to measure their self-worth by how much they get done and the tangible successes they achieve.

It’s important to remember, though, that while aiming high is great and all, real balance and happiness come from valuing yourself for more than just your accomplishments.

Burnout can come from anywhere

Sometimes, women can be driven by internal patterns or beliefs to push themselves relentlessly. Perhaps they feel they must always please others, or they fear the cruel eye of judgement? Maybe self-esteem is an ongoing struggle or the desire not to be perceived as weak drives them? Whatever the drivers, the result often ends up the same. A total depletion of the soul.

Usually, we equate burnout with career and according to the 2024 Global Talent Trends report published by US HR consulting firm, Mercer, eight out of 10 employees are hurtling towards that this year. That said, work is only one element of our busy lives. We are multidimensional beings and sometimes the other areas require more than we have to give, but we have no space to slow down, or reorganise our lives to give ourselves what we need in each moment.

For all women, but especially those with Superwomen Syndrome, the hallmarks of burnout such as feeling like you’re pouring from an empty cup, emotional fatigue, and a sense of futility at the relentlessness of life can creep up on you by degrees before you even realise, you’re in danger of burning out.

How to heal from Superwoman Syndrome

1. Get great at the “No”

Arguably the most important word in the English language. It’s time to become aware of your capacity and ensure you don’t overextend your time or energy. Remember, sometimes saying “no” to someone else is the only way to say “yes” to yourself.

2. Get better at the “Yes”

If someone offers you help, an extended deadline, or a cup of tea and a biscuit, say yes. Learning to say “yes” to help is huge step in healing from Superwoman Syndrome. It’s the epitome of accepting that you don’t have to do it all on your own.

3. Choose your balls

Everyone must juggle sometimes, but there are times where you need to assess which balls are glass and must be protected and which balls are rubber and can be allowed to drop and bounce. Every day, you can assess which balls you have and adjust your life accordingly.

4. Give yourself the love

Self-care is an imperative part of healing from the Superwoman affliction. Self-care is not about perfect nails and regular massages, but making regular time to restore your nervous system and reduce your stress before it becomes a problem.

The tasty takeaway

Becoming aware of your physical and mental capacity, and then being sure not to cross your own boundaries, will go a long way in your Superwoman recovery. Remember, you don’t need to be Superwoman to be a super woman.

Perhaps instead of aiming for superhero status, we should be aiming for more legendary snack status. Take the Mars Bar, for instance. “A Mars a day helps you work, rest and play,” was the jingle and when you put your needs first and find that tasty balance, your whole life can be a little bit sweeter.

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